Do you ever have one of those days when something or someone has p*^%ed you off so much that you really want to blog about it, but try to resist?

Take today for example. * Sorry, I have now edited this part out. I had my rant, now I'm back to resisting *

I really wanted to blog about it, but I'm going to resist.

Many countries have different sounds. I remember when I was in Indonesia, the sound of the Muslim call to prayer. In Japan, there is the sound of the roast potato man driving through the streets selling his wares. The garbage trucks sound like ice cream vans and then there's the awful noise created by politicians driving through the streets before election day.

One that freaked me out the first time, and still does to this day is the air-raid siren. At least that's what it sounds like, and it's probably what it used to be.

It just went off here a few minutes ago. It means that there is a fire in town somewhere. Many of the firefighters in Japan are volunteer, so the siren is rung to call them to the station.

In a town I used to live, they used both the siren and loudspeakers that are permanently rigged around the city. At four in the morning the siren rang and someone announced the location of the fire. It was a bad one, a restaurant near my house. Then again, at five, the siren rang again and we were all woken up to be told that the fire had now been extinguished and thank you to the firefighters. Thanks, but I would have rather slept and found out at a much more reasonable hour.

Wayne has a one hour drive to work every day, I have a five minute bike ride. Wayne's a morning person, I'm not. Actually, Wayne is a any-time-of-the-day person, I'm a late night and early hours of the morning person, but can't live those hours during school term. Wayne gets up at about 5.30am. I sleep through my 6, 6.15 and 6.30 alarms. Wayne wakes me at seven when he's leaving for work and I get up then.

Today is Sunday. Wayne is working. He doesn't normally work on a Sunday, but one of his school's has an open day, so they swapped a Sunday for a Monday. In Australia, you couldn't simply swap a Sunday for a Monday. In Australia, Sunday is still for most, a day of rest, a day of family, a day of recovering from hangovers. But in Japan, a Sunday can simply be swapped for a Monday.

I heard Wayne get up and I went back to sleep. At seven, Wayne kissed me goodbye and I went back to sleep. Later I rolled over and looked at the clock. It was nine. I knew Wayne had gone to work. I remember him in his shirt and tie. I panicked. It must be a school day. It was nine o'clock. I was late for school. I knew this would happen one day. It was Monday, OK.. what's my Monday class schedule.. that's OK, my first class isn't until eleven. I'm late for school, but not for class. Why didn't anyone call me?

Slowly, I remembered that it was in fact Sunday and that Wayne's Sunday was swapped for a Monday. Not mine.

Now I'm worried about tomorrow morning, when it's Sunday for Wayne. Will I get up?

In my junior high classes this week I'm teaching the question "Do you like...?" After we've gone over the question, answers structure and some examples, I go around the class to ask each kid a different question.

I like to tease the boys a bit, and will choose one confident kid, stand over him looking menacing (not that I do that so well apparently), and ask "Do you like me?" It gets a laugh every time.

On Thursday, I did this, but rather than answering straight away, the boy asked "Can I ask a question?"

"OK..." I answered.

He then rattled something off in Japanese that I didn't understand. I told him that I didn't. So he asked the question again, this time slower and with gestures. It went something like this;

"Do you mean "like" as in (gestures a handshake), or do you mean "like" as in (gestures hugging and kissing)?"

I laughed "I mean like, as in a friend."

"Well, OK then, Yes I do!" he replied. He certainly didn't want any confusion there.

On another topic, I chickened out of going to the doctor yesterday, but may have to today. In preparation, I've had to translate my symptoms into Japanese. No matter how scared I am, I think I'm going to have trouble not giggling when telling the doctor that I have "Piripiri, mukamuka, kurakura and girigiri."

I remember fire drills when I was a student. I remember them being in summer and standing under the shade of large trees as a relief from the heat. At my school in Japan, the fire drill is in winter and students stand in the middle of the baseball field in the freezing cold.

Last month, at school, there was an earthquake drill. There may have been something about getting under the desks, but I may have imagined that.

Today, there was a drill for a crazy person. There was some announcement about a crazy person being near the school. I don't what the students were supposed to do, they just ignored it and went to their next class.

Imagine the sound of a drill, very similar to a dentist's drill, going all day long.

Imagine that this has been going on for months.

Imagine a hot classroom where you can't open the windows because of the noisy construction outside.

Imagine having to yell over the construction noise, just so students can hear you, even though you have the windows closed.

Imagine going, not just a little bit, batty.

Sounds like "cancer", which is unfortunate because doctors use it a lot. It directly translates to an "investigation" or "inspection", so they use it for any type of tests.

Still knowing that, each time my doctor says it, I jump.

Ten days until summer holidays begin, which means;

Ten more days of teaching on a construction site with the sound of jack hammers and drills to scream over in class.
Ten more days of teaching in a dungeon of a classroom with peeling paint and curtains the colour of body odour.
Ten more days of having to make my lunch before work every morning.
Ten more days left in this old dusty staff room.

When we come back from summer holidays, a new school building will be finished, with our new classroom, new staffroom and we'll finally have a staff cafeteria back!

Just ten more days.

I love those weeks when the lessons just go off. One of those magical weeks when the kids are enthusiastic and eagerly speaking English, can't wait to be given the chance in fact. Sounds unbelievable doesn't it?

One thing I love about teaching my Junior High class is that they're easy to trick. In our subject, the kids are graded each lesson, but we also have a "bonus points" system, often for volunteering answers in class. This week (our teaching week began on Thursday and will finish the coming Wednesday), one of the things I'm teaching them is different hobbies and the basic sentence "My hobbies are ...... and ......" After going through the new vocabulary and grammar points, I have all the kids stand up. I tell them that we're going to have a "bonus points chance."

They love a "bonus points chance", sometimes I've asked them if they like a chance or a game, and they've always opted for the bonus points. Gotta love these kids! For the bonus point they need to produce the new sentence with two of their hobbies. Hands are instantly raised, kids are jumping up and down just waiting to be picked. Sometimes I tell them that I'll pick the person with the best smile. There is a sudden flash of pearly whites which always makes me laugh.

What no-one has seemed to notice, or maybe care, is that in the end, I let each kid answer. Each and every one of them gets a point. Admittedly, it isn't always the way in the bonus points chance sessions, gotta keep them on their toes.

At the end of this current lesson plan there are a few minutes left at the end of class. Rather than letting them all go early, I have the whole class stand up, but don't tell them what we're doing. I ask how to spell a word from that day's vocabulary. We have lots of little spelling bees, so that's not out of the ordinary. They first kid picked will spell the word. Usually, at this point they get to sit down. Instead, I wave good bye to them and say "Very good, see you next week." The realisation that they get to leave earlier than everyone is magic. Suddenly, everyone wants to spell a word.

The high school lesson plan was written by my co-worker, Sam. It's a really fun game. We call it "Teach Me Japanese".

They are put into teams and given a list of Japanese words. Many are unique to the culture so don't have a direct translation. The teams will work out how to explain the word in English, then one member will come and explain it to me. I've told them that if their description is basic, but good enough for me to understand, they get one point. If it's really good with lots of detail, or funny or with good gestures, they get two points. The next time another member from the team must explain a word. I don't care about their grammar, they can use what ever means possible to get the meaning across.

It's great they're lined up, can't wait to speak English to the teacher. They forget to worry about making mistakes, about being shy, they just want to get that point.

For the second part of the games, the teams are given one word each and fifteen minutes to prepare a description they they will then have to perform in front of class. They are told they'll get one point for each piece of information they come up with and extra points for anything funny or for gestures. Again, the shyness melts away, which anyone who teaches Japanese high school kids will know, is a breakthrough.

I've had kids miming ninja actions and learnt that ninja did not in fact wear black, but rather very dark blue. I've had then pretending to have a picnic under the cherry blossoms and tell me that at "hanami" people don't really go to see the flowers, they go to get drunk. Other groups have had cool boys hike up their pants so they sit up as high as possible to pretend to be "Otaku" and draw fabulous animation characters on the board. One group have explained the radio exercise programs and led the class through a session of the movements. One girl did the funniest imitation of a kabuki actor, a boy pretended to be a very traditional Japanese woman and showed the class the proper bow. They've done all of this while speaking English in front of the class.

I laugh, the kids laugh. It's a great time. It's one of those weeks that is great to be a teacher.

This week in the high school class, the topic is giving advice. Part of the lesson is a game. There are twenty different problems and the students have to come to me in groups and perform little dialogues explaining the problem and giving a solution. For each dialogue I give them points. For a basic performance and advice, they get a single point. If they've gone the extra mile, they get two. What I don't tell them is that if there is blatant, unabashed sucking up, they get three points.

Generally, at some point in the game, one team will refer to me as being really nice or beautiful. I surprise them with the extra point. Usually word gets around pretty quickly and the sucking up becomes a whole new element to the game.

Friday's classes cracked me up. They found more and more creative ways of sucking up in the responses. Some of the dialogues went like this;

"I'm always tired when I'm at school." "Oh, you shouldn't be. When you come to school, you can see beautiful Melanie and you will get lots of energy."

"I don't know what to buy my (girlfriend/boyfriend) for Valentine's Day." "Oh, don't worry about buying them a present, you should buy one for beautiful Melanie."

"I don't understand my English teacher." "Oh, if Melanie is your teacher, it shouldn't be a problem, her voice is very nice. If Sam is your teacher, then you should go and talk to Melanie."

"I want to go to Tokyo University." "I think you should study very hard and when you study, think of Melanie's beautiful face. Then when you're doing the exam, think of her beautiful face again and it will give you power and you will pass the exam."

One that caught them out though was this;

"Every time I eat curry, I get a stomachache." "Oh, you should eat Melanie's curry because it is delicious and then you won't get a stomachache."

They didn't get the extra point as I explained that I don't cook. My husband does the cooking. This was met with shock. One girl churned over this news for about five minutes and then came and asked me "Do you really not cook? Does your husband really do the cooking?" "Yes" I told her. "So he cooks, and you watch TV?" Not wanting to get into the whole dynamics of our marriage, I simply said "Yes." She stared at me in disbelief, then simply shook her head and walked away. Another boy, at the end of class came up to me concerned, "I think you should cook", he told me.

One team worked their way around this problem though and came up with;

"My mum won't make me lunch and I can't cook." "Well, you should go to Melanie's house and have her husband make you a delicious lunch."

So that was Friday. Pure joy, so much fun.

Come to Monday. Same game, same lesson.

Not only did I get almost no suck-ups, but in the warm up exercise, I jokingly said to a student "I want a new husband. What should I do?"

The advice? "I think you should diet."

No wonder I don't like Mondays.